Now that I have a baby, I get to do all these silly things I never EVER in a bazillion years would have ever considered doing. But now I'm doing even worse things than I ever could have imagined and I blame Pinterest. Browsing Pinterest can be deadly. It puts terrible ideas in your head about things you can do, and things that you really like but would probably never do, and things you shouldn't do but try anyway. It's exhausting.
So, I was looking through Pinterest one night when I wasn't sleeping (again) and found these pictures of babies with their butts painted like a pumpkin. It was cute.. so cute. The photos were perfectly staged and the little pumpkin butts were just .. well, you know. So that night in July, I decided to take another Pinterest adventure and do this with Stella.
I don't know why I thought face paint would be ideal for the task. Obviously they don't sell butt paint (do they?). Anyway, I decided to wait until Halloween and goto the store like everyone else and purchase face paint.
Well come to find out, face paint really sucks these days. I'm honestly not sure it was ever great. But nowadays it really sucks compared to whatever we used back in the day. I'm pretty sure whatever I bought was made in China out of some nuclear byproduct. You know when you buy something in the store and when you get it home it looks NOTHING like what you saw in the store? That's what happened to me. It "LOOKED" like pumpkin orange in the store, but when I got home it was like the color of volcano lava from a Nat Geo special. It was really scary looking.
Anyway, I put it on my baby. Let's talk about that…. So I got everything ready. The paint, towels, the pumpkin (props), and the camera close by. Stella was lying on the floor minding her own beeswax and here I come with fluorescent biohazard paint and schmear it all over her little behind. I even drew a little stalk on the top. cute.
Clearly I hadn't done this before because the pumpkin really didn't capture the bottom portion of her bum quite how I envisioned (i.e; it wasn't Pinterest perfect). But going back to make the correction was a gamble. Seven month olds have the ability to spin around like the Tasmanian devil. Sometimes it takes two of us to get her in pants. (Don't even get me started about putting her in tights). Anyway, what I failed to think about was the white carpet directly underneath my spinning tornado butt. So this is where I accepted her butt for what it is, and this is what we got.
Not exactly the Pinterest Perfect look I was striving for but at least I can check this off the list and confirm yes - it's total pain in the ass … ha ha. I made a funny.
